D.I.Y. Spa Evening~

Hellooo!!

I've always wanted to try to create my own spa experience at home, and with winter showing no sign of being vanquished, what better time to do so than now? After all, everyone has such busy schedules these days that we hardly ever have any time to ourselves - something we don't even think about doing all too often. But as my yoga teacher keeps on emphasizing, putting aside time to focus on yourself is so important for your mental well-being!

This is such a fun idea you can do for a girl's night in, or for something you can do with your significant other, all on a student budget~

So you've decided you want to have your own spa experience now?

The first thing to think about is where to hold the session. A lot of professional spa treatments involve lying down in a comfortable place, so a living room or a bedroom are good options. We chose a bedroom, and immediately set about cleaning it as there is definitely something to be said for the ancient art of feng shui, and given that some people believe that a person's room is a reflection of the state of their internal self, I do believe that an uncluttered space will make you feel more relaxed.

Next, you need to decide on what you are going to do:

Manicures/pedicures
Face masks
Massages
Steam treatments
Aromatherapy

And what you will need! We went to Chinatown and picked up some incense sticks for £1.50, and in MUJI we picked up a scented candle and a bottle of essential oil for ~£7 which turned out to be our only expenses for this night - not bad, given that I already had some massage oil lying around and a lavender scented comforter that was oh so soothing when it had been heated and was wrapped around my neck.

Recreating a luxury experience in your own home is all about the details - we wanted to feel like we were being treated so fluffy white towels and bathrobes were a must!

Other details included some preparation before we began - switching on the heating to warm up our space, and lighting an incense stick to infuse the room with a calm and relaxing scent. We also had a supply of green tea on tap, as well as a soothing soundtrack that was oh so kindly supplied to us by Youtube.

I wanted to try a face mask and prepared one by mashing a banana, some honey and a few drops of lemon juice, but never got round to trying it out that evening. In the morning, it ended up becoming a sticky black goo, something I will spare you from seeing!

As it was quite late in the night (half ten...eleven?) when we started, we only got round to massages and steam - for the steam, we had a bowl of hot water infused with a few drops of lemon essential oil that we used to unclog our pores. But next time, there will be more! :3

All in all, something a little out of the ordinary, and well worth the preparation!

Yishi xxx

Confuzzled~

So recently, I've become a little confused about who I really am... @_@

I've noticed myself becoming more and more fixated on things like my appearance and my weight, even when I've been told that I don't need to worry about either of these. They're things I never really cared about when I was younger - back then, it was all about how smart I was and what I could achieve. I guess my parents kept me away from those kinds of influences, but they're both something that I've become more aware of once I went to uni and gained my own independence.

I find that I can't help but slip into self-deprecating chats with my friends, and that I may be developing some bi-polar esteem issues. It feels like there is an angel on my shoulder - the old me, telling me that I have nothing to worry about, and then on the other shoulder, a little devil, chipping away at my confidence. I look in the mirror, and see so much wrong with my body, yet, I am unable to have enough will-power to do much about it. I enjoy eating too much, and as for exercise, since I've been diagnosed with knee problems, I only do low impact exercises now, no more running or anything majorly intensive.

Regular thoughts that run through my head when I am out and about:

She's so pretty, her legs are nicer, she has such a small waist, she's so much taller than me...

I think a part of this comes down to me being attracted to people that are usually physically out of my league, a 7 or an 8 to my 5. Studies show that people of similar attractiveness tend to end up together, which is the matching hypothesis. I saw a great example of this on the Discovery Channel's The Science of Sex Appeal, an interesting social documentary you can watch on Youtube. If this is the case, then I can't really compete with the girls that the guys I like are interested in. Which leads to this spiral of self-esteem.

If people are happier with people of similar attractiveness, then I need to lose this shallow way of thinking~

*siiiigh*

Sorry about this depressing post, it was something I needed to get off my chest and I promise to make my next ones happier!

Yishi xxx

My Thoughts on Dakota Rose a.k.a Kotakoti

Hey guys,

Hope you're well and enjoying this Friday evening! (✿◠‿◠)

Song of the day: Labyrinth of Dreams by Nox Arcana (I love atmospheric music like this!)

Today I want to talk to you about Dakota Rose, a.k.a Kotakoti, a girl who has recently become famous on the Internet for looking like a doll. I've been following the rise of Dakota Rose for a few weeks now, ever since I came across a post about her from Cindy Tang's blog. In the post, people were arguing about whether or not she Photoshopped her images, and I found myself morbidly fascinated by the hype/love/hate around this Internet sensation, so I decided to research her a bit.

You can read more about her here:

Her gorgeous photos

The case of Dakota Rose

Dakota's Encyclopedia Dramatica

Kiki Kanniball, her sister

When I first started reading about her and her family, I was completely shocked at the amount of drama that she and her family have gone through. I saw some of their old Youtube videos where they were making fun of others, saw how they acted on camera and what they thought was acceptable to post on the Internet. After comparing it to how Dakota wants to be portrayed now: a cute, sweet, innocent girl, I found my jaw dropping in disbelief at just how blatant this girl is with her unashamed intentions of capitalising on the Asian market... ๏_๏

She found a niche where she could play her looks and styling to her advantage and decided to not so subtly capitalise on it. Her tags on Youtube videos are all in Japanese, Korean or Chinese, and she lists her keywords as: barbie doll, blow up doll etc. How much more obvious can you get?

If she was a genuinely sweet person then I wouldn't have felt so meh about it, but at the time, I found it pretty offensive that she was trying to take advantage of half a continent of girls where the cultural ideals of beauty are already beyond anything achievable without a certain level of high maintenance: hair dye, curls, circle lens, nails etc. i.e. styling beyond recognition.

On a side note, personally, I think the gyaru style is pretty cute, but prefer the ulzzang one as it's far more natural and achievable by an everyday Asian girl. Maybe I'm coming at this from a Western angle, having never actually lived in Asia, but as I've been infused with a healthy dose of British cynicism, I just find it depressing that so many girls feel like they have to go through all of this to look acceptable, and that there are entire shows all about makeovers, with it being completely acceptable to make fun of the girls before they have their makeover!

Anyway, going back to Dakota. What made me raise an eyebrow and then some was the fact that she denies Photoshopping any of her images, claiming that every image is her natural self. She denies using Aftereffects to edit her videos, thus to everyone who believes her, she has created a perfect image and a new 'level' of beauty that people are either worshipping or turning anorexic for.

On tumblr, there are whole blogs dedicated to outing her, even a forum: Pretty Ugly Little Liars.

I think the images she has created for her new online persona are beautiful, and her outfits are beautiful too, but by lying to thousands of people, by pretending to be sixteen and half Japanese to land a contract with Bravo Models, she is only setting herself up for a fall.

There are people who have done bad things in their past, (hey, I'm definitely no angel myself!), but by acknowledging the past and their mistakes, they can grow and heal. But all the lies that Dakota has created only serve as a cage, trapping the ugliness on the inside. It'll be interesting to see how this plays out, since by becoming an Internet celebrity, there will be so many people watching her every move, both fans and haters alike.

Anyway, that's just my two cents.

And this is a photo of the ducks at my college:

Peace out!

Yishi x

Of bicycles and street vendors...

Hey there, hope you're well! I wanted to post a picture of the view from my window in the morning, but by the time I got up and found my camera, the sun had risen up too much and bleached out everything in sight. But hopefully soon I'll get to show you Old Court and our college Chapel.

Outfit of the day:

For more picspam, see my new style blog: mystyledchopsticks! ^^

Anyway, today I was re-united once again with my beloved and battered bicycle, after seven weeks of being apart. And boy, I could feel what those seven weeks have done to my muscles! I've missed my bike - I don't have one that's my size at home, and whilst I can get away with riding my brother's little bike or the one that I have owned since I was about 10, it just feels outright weird to be riding a kid's bike.

If you ever come to Cambridge, then you'll very soon conclude that Cambridge (although I'm sure Oxford would also pitch in for the title) is the city of bikes - you can't go for five minutes without the sleek sound of spokes whooshing by. It's an icon of the city and an icon of what it means to be a student here. Even if you live close enough to walk to lectures, most students still own a bike for ease of transport, although that isn't to say that there aren't those who make it a point to not own one!

Growing up, I had an image in my mind that cities in China were like this too, that they were famous for their two pedals:

Sourced from here!

I remember seeing old black and white photos of roads filled with cyclists and feeling awed by the mere thought of the words "bicycle kingdom", but in the three times that I have visited China, all I've seen are cars left, right, centre. It was quite a sad realisation for me as I'd really looked forward to seeing the views from the photos in real life, but in retrospect I guess they are now just a symbol of the past and of what life once was, you know, before everyone could afford a car. Apparently, bicycles in China were once held in such high esteem that they were included as wedding presents!

In my mind, there's just something that feels a bit more communal about riding a bike instead of driving, not to mention the health benefits. But speaking of that communal feeling, I got a lot of it today when I was in town on my shopping rounds!

At Market Square, I came across a Chinese vendor selling hats, scarves and other winter goods who was in the middle of haggling with two Chinese girls. I was standing nearby, browsing the cute gloves, and couldn't help but smile at the tactics that the girls were using: cuteness, appeal to race, appeal to the homeland, and "in [insert town name] we get it for only [insert price]!!!". Eventually, they walked off, happy. Now there were some items that I had my eye on, but since I didn't have the courage to try to bargain, I went to Paperchase for a bit and then came back, determined to give it my best shot.

The vendor immediately asked me if I was Chinese, to which I replied yes in Mandarin, and then he asked me if I was from Malaysia... >_< ...I made a face similar to that, so he asked me if I was from Guangdong. I was somewhat surprised as Guangdong is adjacent to Hunan where my parents come from, and I thought my accent sounded more foreigner-trying-to-learn-the-lingo than Southern China Twang. But if he did manage to detect any Southern accent then I am well impressed. On the other hand, if he thought I was Cantonese (on account of Guangdong) learning to speak Mandarin then I am less impressed. Those are answers that I will never know unless I visit his stall again, so I shall no longer dwell on the matter.

Anyway, he told me straight away that since I was Chinese, he was willing to negotiate prices with me - he must've seen my grin when I was listening in on the girls earlier. Not that I was complaining, but when I think about it, it's pretty unfair on others that I get secret discounts just because of my race. In the midst of my bargaining session, I even saw some white tourists drop by and ask the vendor for the price of an item - for them, it was a flat rate, and whilst it may have looked reasonable to the tourists, the vendor and I both knew that the asking price is always much higher than what the vendor is willing to accept. I think this is just a part of Chinese culture, that at every small business shop, as long as the shopkeeper likes you, can speak to you in his mother tongue or is desperate to make a sell then you can very easily whittle the price down.

So with that in mind, I managed to score myself two sets of hats and scarves for almost 50% of his original price. Of course I threw in the "I have no money because I'm a poor student" card, but he already knew that, because I apparently looked so young. He also gave me a leaflet advertising a show about 5,000 years of Chinese culture that looks amazing but is too pricey for me to attend, since "I have no money because I'm a poor student". However, if any of you happen to be in London in April and are interested in attending then my good deed for the day has been done.

On a final note, here is a photo of Gus, our college cat, who decided to take up residence on my friend's bed. She actually called me over to get rid of him, poor thing!

So cute! ^^

Maybe I should've titled this post: how to haggle with a Chinese vendor. Answer: if you can't speak Chinese, then go with someone who can haggle for you.

Yishi xxx

Is natural beauty dead?

Yishi here, blogging from the bed since I have a minor case of the "atchooo" today! :'(

About half an hour ago, SJ sent me this link from work which reminded me of our conversation from last night, and also of all the rants that my Asian girlfriends and I had last year.

Take note: what you are about to witness is the amazing power of make-up!



Click on the images above for moar! Or alternatively, google "asians with and without makeup" like I did last night.

And even if images lie *cough* Photoshop *cough*, animated GIFs certainly don't!




Since I am absolutely petrified of shoving anything in my eye, be it contact lens or non-painted fingernail, then this is a look that I do not think I will ever be able to achieve. And since I am not a fan of glasses either, blindness ftw!! (Only joking, my eyes are only +0.75 and +1.25.) But what happened to the au naturelle look? Why are celebrities and girls from all nations sooo obsessed with make-up?

That, I cannot tell you, but I suspect that it has something to do with boys, sex, competition, sex, insecurities, sex and The Media. I guess I'm a relative n00b to the scene since it isn't something that I cared too much about until recently. As I was growing up, it didn't really affect me because I wasn't able to identify with the celebrities that I was exposed to. Why? I couldn't compare myself to them, since the majority are white. Plus, all I cared about at the time was *dundundun* POKEMON!!! And then Digimon. Oh, how I miss those happy happy days. Anyway, whilst my friends in school were spending hours in the bathroom putting on their make-up, I was always the one whinging about how long they were taking. It just looked so repetitively painful and pointless when we all knew that you had to take it off later on! And the idea of caking your face in layers and layers of stuff kinda freaked me out. At home, my mother didn't use make-up, and she brought me up to believe in my natural self and to believe that appearances didn't matter (well...didn't matter too much lol), so I didn't really understand why my peers felt the need to go through this daily routine of torture...until I turned sixteen and discovered the power of eye-liner.

I started to notice guys, became more self-aware, and found that eye-liner made my eyes stand out so much. And that's how I developed the Asian glare, hehe. I didn't use any other make-up, as my skin was (and still is) sensitive so I didn't want to get a reaction from applying anything to it. Plus I didn't think I needed to use any other products. Don't get me wrong, I'm not a natural stunner, but I have two working eyes, a functional nose, a mouth in the right place, and non-spotty skin. Oh, and natural double eyelids, bwahahaha! (Although I did not realise what a valuable commodity this was at the time.) So in essence, I was perfectly happy with the way that I am.

That whole outlook changed once I started university and became exposed to Asians and Asian media. Everything was just so damn long-legged or kawaii! >_< ...I realised that once I was able to compare myself to other people who were of similar basic appearance to me, then I found myself becoming more and more insecure, especially when all of these girls seemed so beautiful and had so many guys chasing after them. I was completely thrown out of my comfort zone, and had no idea on how to deal with it all. I wanted to be prettier but due to core beliefs of staying as true to oneself as possible, I wasn't prepared to invest in the effort needed to achieve this 'beauty'. So I drowned. I asked myself why my guy crush at the time did not like me. I cried. My grades slipped, and because I was no longer top of my class, I cried more. I couldn't even be pretty, let alone smart. This deadlock sent me into a spiral of low self-esteem for a very long time, but eventually, I was able to reach some sort of compromise with myself and finally came to terms with the way I am. It took a great amount of willpower to get to this level of acceptance, and even though I'm still somewhat insecure, the personal compromise has more or less remained with me to this very day (give or take a few off days!).

After all, at the end of the day, a pretty girl can only hold a guy's attention for so long before he gets bored and moves onto the next pretty thing. It takes substance, personality to really connect. And how can you have substance if you don't believe in yourself? :)

Today, I still only wear eye-liner on most days, and am comfortable enough to go without if I'm feeling super lazy. If I have a special occasion like a ball or something formal, then I try a bit of lip-gloss, eyeshadow and have recently started experimenting with ze false eyelash to go with ze princess dresses~♥

So, now that all of that back-story is out of the way ~ onto the question of my blog post: is natural beauty dead?

No, never, as long as you believe it still exists. Natural beauty comes from within, from being happy with who you are, and from loving everything about being alive! It's a state of mind, a spark inside of you that needs to be nurtured and allowed to grow into something wonderful and vibrant that'll turn heads and make people think 'wow' when they see you.

If anyone is reading this who has also gone through dark times, then I hope that you can leave this page knowing that you are not alone. :)

Final words ~ some of this has been pretty hard for me to write, so I want to say a big thank you to everyone who told and still tells me that I am beautiful,

Yishi xxx