Showing posts with label thoughts. Show all posts
Showing posts with label thoughts. Show all posts

Tuesday, 19 February 2013

Warm Bodies!


Hey all! Yesterday I went to the Empire cinema in Leicester Square to watch a movie called Warm Bodies. This was the first time I'd been to the Empire, and we managed to get a sofa to watch the movie on! :D

To summarise, this movie is set in a post apocalyptic world in which most humans have been turned into zombies. It follows the story of one of the zombies, a guy called R, who retains more of his emotions than the average zombie, and the events that he sparks when he eats the brain of one girl's boyfriend, absorbing his memories to fall in love with her. For a romantic comedy, it was pretty fantastic, probably the best love story that I've come across to date. This movie really warmed my heart, and I definitely recommend it to everyone.

R of course is a fantastic character - I mean, how much quirkier can you get with a zombie who collects things, hoarding them in an abandoned airplane? 

Plus, he is sooo freaking hot! :)

(I think I may have found a new crush <3)

I really liked the emo undead make-up, the ironic narrations, and the whole tongue in cheek aspect of the film - it gave a feeling of not taking itself too seriously, but could revert when it needed to. The skeletons of course terrified me, reminding me of another movie - Hot Fuzz, which for a comedy, was oddly scary too.

When I went to see this, I didn't realise that it was based upon a book so note to self: must acquire a copy! Maybe I can treat myself to a late New Year's present hehe~

~Yishi xxx

Wednesday, 6 February 2013

Confuzzled~

So recently, I've become a little confused about who I really am... @_@

I've noticed myself becoming more and more fixated on things like my appearance and my weight, even when I've been told that I don't need to worry about either of these. They're things I never really cared about when I was younger - back then, it was all about how smart I was and what I could achieve. I guess my parents kept me away from those kinds of influences, but they're both something that I've become more aware of once I went to uni and gained my own independence.

I find that I can't help but slip into self-deprecating chats with my friends, and that I may be developing some bi-polar esteem issues. It feels like there is an angel on my shoulder - the old me, telling me that I have nothing to worry about, and then on the other shoulder, a little devil, chipping away at my confidence. I look in the mirror, and see so much wrong with my body, yet, I am unable to have enough will-power to do much about it. I enjoy eating too much, and as for exercise, since I've been diagnosed with knee problems, I only do low impact exercises now, no more running or anything majorly intensive.

Regular thoughts that run through my head when I am out and about:

She's so pretty, her legs are nicer, she has such a small waist, she's so much taller than me...

I think a part of this comes down to me being attracted to people that are usually physically out of my league, a 7 or an 8 to my 5. Studies show that people of similar attractiveness tend to end up together, which is the matching hypothesis. I saw a great example of this on the Discovery Channel's The Science of Sex Appeal, an interesting social documentary you can watch on Youtube. If this is the case, then I can't really compete with the girls that the guys I like are interested in. Which leads to this spiral of self-esteem.

If people are happier with people of similar attractiveness, then I need to lose this shallow way of thinking~

*siiiigh*

Sorry about this depressing post, it was something I needed to get off my chest and I promise to make my next ones happier!

Yishi xxx

Tuesday, 1 January 2013

Happy New Year!!

Hey everyone!

I hope your new year was passed in style! This is the first time I spent New Year's Eve with friends instead of family - usually, I'm at a dinner party with family friends. Anyway, in my last post, I didn't review the resolutions I set myself for 2012, so I'll do a quick rundown here:

♥ Graduate with a 2.1
    - Achieved!
♥ Decide what I want to do with my life: score a job/get a vocational qualification/teach English abroad?
    - None of the above, eeek. If you could've told me that in a year's time I would be doing a PhD I would've laughed in your face, because in my own bittersweet words, "everyone knows how much I love chemistry". At that point in time, I wanted nothing more than to quit, that's how badly my year was going!
♥ Get some commercial awareness
    - Failed. I didn't even try this time.
♥ Become a better swimmer and master the front crawl
    - Failed. I think I went swimming once in 2012... :'(
♥ Continue with gym and try to lose body fat
    - Failed. I went to the gym a few times, but now that I'm at UCL I have to pay for gym which is a bit off-putting, oh well~
♥ Fix my skin so that it is not so dry
    - Still a work in progress, so 50%.
♥ Improve my foreign language skills laaaah~
    - Failed after a few months, I'm pretty disappointed that I didn't keep this one going but my degree was more important at the time.
♥ Learn how to cook ten new dishes to perfection
    - Congee, udon soup, miso soup, chicken Thai green curry, beef hotpot, potato and leek soup, kimchi fried rice, kimchi stew so 8/10... >_<:;
♥ Find a new style for myself
    - Erm, I'm still not sure what my style is to be honest.
♥ And live each day as if it is my last, with no regrets!
    - Kind of a silly one hehe.

Oh dear, I didn't complete many, did I? Well, here's to a fresh new start in 2013 and a fresh new (mostly) set of resolutions:

Get published in academia.
♥ Go to yoga at least once a week.
Explore London!
♥ Take up dancing classes.
♥ Learn to cook ten new dishes.
♥ Regain my level of fluency in Chinese.
♥ Finish writing one novel!
 Draw five new pictures.
♥ Make more effort to keep in contact with people, (write letters)!
No more boys.

May your year be prosperous and filled with joy! :)

Yishi x

Saturday, 29 December 2012

Achievements of 2012

Hello my lovelies!

At this time of the year, it's nice to reflect over the last 365 days and to think about some of the highlights (and lowlights) of the year, especially when it comes to making new resolutions. Personally, this year has been one of the best in terms of achievements and growth, but there have also been some down times too, the most standout one being having to let go of someone that I really cared about early on this year. But I guess you have to take the good with the bad, and just learn to get on with your life.

So, now for the summaries. This year, I:

Graduated from the University of Cambridge with a BA and MSci woopwoop! This is one of my proudest achievements, because for the first three years of my degree, I really struggled to balance my work and play. My life was ruled by drama. My night would be my day, everything was turned topsy-turvy upside down. I scraped by with meagre grades and lost all confidence in myself because I was struggling so much, always behind, never really understanding anything that I was supposed to have learnt. But then this year, thanks to surrounding myself with a more positive environment, and thanks to some very special people who believed in me, I managed to turn it all around and make both my family and myself proud. There's one person in particular I have to thank, without him as a role model, I don't think I could've pulled myself together~ <3

Following on from that, I accepted a PhD offer at UCL and moved to London to begin grad school in September. All of this happened so fast - it was a last minute application mid-August, interviews in September and an offer made on the same day! Learning how to hunt for a house without being screwed over, and then moving in two weeks later. At that point, I was still doing a summer project in Cambridge, so never had a proper chance to say goodbye to my life there - that summer holds some of my most fondest memories. But having to sort out bills for my new house, organise cleaning rotas etc. made me feel like this was most definitely the start of something new, and that I was finally leaving the bubble of Cambridge and going into the wider world.

Realised that dreams can come true, that the un in the unattainable can disappear with enough confidence, perseverance and erosion. I know I'm being vague, but this applies to a lot of things that have happened to me, nay, that I've made happen. Taking an active role in forging my own destiny instead of sitting in the back seat just along for the ride ~ one of the most valuable lessons that I've learned this year, especially since it applies to everything in life: career, finance and of course, romance. 

Started to take an active interest in my fitness and well being. I started to go running after my exams were over, and in a few months, I went from wanting to give up after two minutes, to being able to run a 5km in just under half an hour! Unfortunately, in between this, I went to Morocco and climbed Mount Toubkal, the highest mountain in North Africa, and this, combined with me increasing my running distance too quickly, resulted in me getting runner's knee and having to take time out. This was quite upsetting as I wanted to try out for the university lacrosse team at UCL but had to stop all running. Now I'm seeing a physio who is helping me to correct my bio-mechanics as it turns out my natural walk is causing problems, but in the meantime, I've taken up some new things like yoga and flexibility classes.

Added lots of new life experiences to my memories ~ worked as a student campus manager for Unilever, went to Morocco for two weeks, chatted to a milkman at 5am, celebrated my birthday with my beloved chemistry department, ahh, there are too many to list...!

All in all, a fantastic year! :)

Yishi x

Friday, 20 April 2012

My Thoughts on Dakota Rose a.k.a Kotakoti

Hey guys,

Hope you're well and enjoying this Friday evening! (✿◠‿◠)


Song of the day: Labyrinth of Dreams by Nox Arcana (I love atmospheric music like this!)

Today I want to talk to you about Dakota Rose, a.k.a Kotakoti, a girl who has recently become famous on the Internet for looking like a doll. I've been following the rise of Dakota Rose for a few weeks now, ever since I came across a post about her from Cindy Tang's blog. In the post, people were arguing about whether or not she Photoshopped her images, and I found myself morbidly fascinated by the hype/love/hate around this Internet sensation, so I decided to research her a bit.


You can read more about her here:


When I first started reading about her and her family, I was completely shocked at the amount of drama that she and her family have gone through. I saw some of their old Youtube videos where they were making fun of others, saw how they acted on camera and what they thought was acceptable to post on the Internet. After comparing it to how Dakota wants to be portrayed now: a cute, sweet, innocent girl, I found my jaw dropping in disbelief at just how blatant this girl is with her unashamed intentions of capitalising on the Asian market... ๏_๏

She found a niche where she could play her looks and styling to her advantage and decided to not so subtly capitalise on it. Her tags on Youtube videos are all in Japanese, Korean or Chinese, and she lists her keywords as: barbie doll, blow up doll etc. How much more obvious can you get?

If she was a genuinely sweet person then I wouldn't have felt so meh about it, but at the time, I found it pretty offensive that she was trying to take advantage of half a continent of girls where the cultural ideals of beauty are already beyond anything achievable without a certain level of high maintenance: hair dye, curls, circle lens, nails etc. i.e. styling beyond recognition.

On a side note, personally, I think the gyaru style is pretty cute, but prefer the ulzzang one as it's far more natural and achievable by an everyday Asian girl. Maybe I'm coming at this from a Western angle, having never actually lived in Asia, but as I've been infused with a healthy dose of British cynicism, I just find it depressing that so many girls feel like they have to go through all of this to look acceptable, and that there are entire shows all about makeovers, with it being completely acceptable to make fun of the girls before they have their makeover!

Anyway, going back to Dakota. What made me raise an eyebrow and then some was the fact that she denies Photoshopping any of her images, claiming that every image is her natural self. She denies using Aftereffects to edit her videos, thus to everyone who believes her, she has created a perfect image and a new 'level' of beauty that people are either worshipping or turning anorexic for.

On tumblr, there are whole blogs dedicated to outing her, even a forum: Pretty Ugly Little Liars.

I think the images she has created for her new online persona are beautiful, and her outfits are beautiful too, but by lying to thousands of people, by pretending to be sixteen and half Japanese to land a contract with Bravo Models, she is only setting herself up for a fall.

There are people who have done bad things in their past, (hey, I'm definitely no angel myself!), but by acknowledging the past and their mistakes, they can grow and heal. But all the lies that Dakota has created only serve as a cage, trapping the ugliness on the inside. It'll be interesting to see how this plays out, since by becoming an Internet celebrity, there will be so many people watching her every move, both fans and haters alike.

Anyway, that's just my two cents.

And this is a photo of the ducks at my college:


Peace out!

Yishi x

Tuesday, 6 March 2012

Inside Out by Britney Spears

Wow, Youtube must be in sync with my emotions because it recommended me this song which I have now been listening to on repeat for the last half hour:


                        Original                                                   Remix feat. Eminem

I recommend the Eminem remix if you are feeling particularly angsty. Here is a ballad remake version that I believe is better than the original:



[Lyrics - Verse 1]

Said you’re gonna be here in a minute
Sitting in the mirror getting pretty
Gotta look my best if we’re gonna break up
Gotta look my best if we’re gonna break up

I can hear you knocking at the front door
And I know exactly what u came for

Trying to say goodbye but it’s hot and heavy
Trying to say goodbye but it’s hot and heavy

You touch me and it’s breaking me down
I’m telling you let’s just give it up and get down

[Chorus]

So come on won’t you give me something to remember?
Baby shut your mouth and turn me inside out
Even though we couldn’t last forever, baby
You know what I want right now

Hit me one more time it’s so amazing
How you shook my world and flipped it upside down
You’re the only one who ever drove me crazy
'cause you know me inside out

[Britney Spears - Verse 2]

I know that we probably shouldn’t do this
Wake up in the morning feeling stupid
Said that we were done but you’re all up on me
Said that we were done but you’re all up on me

Tell me how we got in this position
Guess I gotta get you out my system
Trying to let you go but it’s not that easy
Trying to let you go but it’s not that easy

You touch me and it’s breaking me down
I’m telling you let’s just give it up and get down

[Chorus]

So come on won’t you give me something to remember?
Baby shut your mouth and turn me inside out
Even though we couldn’t last forever, baby
You know what I want right now
Hit me one more time it’s so amazing
How you shook my world and flipped it upside down
You’re the only one who ever drove me crazy
’cause you know me inside out

Yishi xxx

Monday, 5 March 2012

If I could have a superpower...

...then mine would be the ability to fly.

Without a doubt.

To me, there is just something inherently fascinating and appealing about having a pair of wings or being able to defy gravity, which often translated itself into dreams I had when growing up. They don't come as often as they used to now, but when they do, it's such a mind rush!

Song of the day: Wings of a Butterfly by HIM (oh this song brings me back many many years!)

Maybe subconsciously, I just want to be an angel.
(image source unknown :S)
I know it sounds a bit weird to describe a feeling for something that I have never experienced, since how can you do such a thing if you have never felt it before? We covered this philosophical concept during my second year when I studied History and Philosophy of Science, and in the end, I guess it must just be a conglomeration of other feelings all smooshed together ~ theme park rides, hurtling downhill on a bike or a sled, jumping high high high on a trampoline.

All of these experiences give me the same thrill and adrenaline rush that I get in those dreams when I'm 'flying' out of the playground yelling "so long suckers", when I'm on a secret mission to save the world or when I'm flying away from people who are chasing me...probably because they do not wish for me to fulfill my world saving duties. HMMM. Does anyone else have dreams like these? O_O

This would avoid the hole in outfit problem.
(source)
Imagine the kind of scenery that you'd be able to witness from way up there? How awesome it would be if you could skip traffic queues, the money that you could save on transport?

Maybe the reality would be completely different to how I perceive it to be in my dreams. Maybe it would be really cold up in the sky, maybe I'd get airsick. And maybe it would just get plain annoying having to cut holes into the back of every outfit you wear to fit your wings through them. I'm not sure I could ruin so many clothes!

But since I'll never be able to find out, I can still dream, right? ^^

If you could have any superpower in the world, what would yours be?

Yishi xxx

P.S. On an unrelated note, I have done a Seven Deadly Beauty Sins meme on my style blog, so please check it out! :D

Monday, 27 February 2012

The meaning of love

Good evening!

Today, I brought some pandan cake into the lab to share with my colleagues. They were a little suspicious about the colour of the cake ~ this isn't my photo by the way, I borrowed it from Google because we ate it all:


Image source here!


As was I when I first saw a green cake, hehe! But then I realised how good it tastes. Now that is the meaning of love... :P

Song of the day: Good Day (Ashilia and JD Relic English Cover) by IU (I am so in love with their voices! I now associate this song with someone who I wanted to confess to last year hehehe...I think I still want to confess xD)

Anyway, this afternoon, I was browsing Facebook in the lab, and got asked on chat by a complete stranger what the meaning of love was for me.

It was so totally out of the blue that at first, I just sat back and stared, speechless. Then I realised that the guy couldn't actually see my response so I echoed it in words.

From here!
His question was definitely good food for thought though. In the last few months, I've 'loved' and lost, had my heart shattered, done some soul searching, and observed the development and destruction of a romance between two close friends which has given me some major perspective on facets of my own life ~ especially when I see some all too painful parallels and have to offer support to a friend who is on The Other Side, i.e. doing the destroying. So I guess I'm a little wiser now.


But still not wise enough to really be able to provide a concrete answer to that question: what is the meaning of love for me? Although, I think I'd probably start off with something along the lines of:

♥ A number close to 42... :P
♥ Someone who you want to spend every waking moment with
♥ Caring so much about someone that you would do almost anything for them
♥ Feeling as though you are not complete without your other half
♥ Knowing them almost as well as you know yourself
♥ A feeling so intense that it becomes a double edged blade

Then again, there are different types of love, all equally pure. It was obvious that the guy was asking me about the romantic kind of love, but I should not neglect to mention the other kinds: platonic love and the unconditional love that a parent has for their children.

I guess I've always been an idealist about things like this (which is definitely not a good thing!), so for me, it's not a word that I'd throw around lightly. Thank you teenage romance novels for this influence...!

So guys, what is the meaning of love for you?

Yishi xxx

Monday, 23 January 2012

Happy Chinese New Year!

新年快乐!!!
Wish I could cut paper as pro as this! Image source: here.


Hello everyone, and happy new year in the lunar calendar! This year, it's the year of the dragon, which means that according to tradition, this will be a year of progression, perseverance and auspiciousness.

Song of the day: Love You More And More by Fahrenheit (opening theme to Superstar Express/To Get Her! ^^)

For those of you that don't know, legend has it that back in the day, an Emperor decreed that there would be a race for all animals in order to determine which animals would be included in a calendar of years. There were only enough spaces for twelve animals, and the race involved crossing a river as the final obstacle.

At that time, the Cat and the Rat were good friends and rode on the back of the Ox, who had set off early because he was slow. However, when they got to the river, the sneaky Rat pushed the Cat off and jumped onto the shore, backstabbing everyone but earning his place as the first animal. But at least the Ox's efforts weren't wasted, for he came second. The Tiger came third, and the Rabbit fourth after finding some stones to hop across. Fifth was the Dragon, who had watered the land by spreading rain which slowed him down - he'd also helped the rabbit across. The Snake came sixth by sneaking a ride on the Horse and then scaring the Horse enough to steal the Horse's rightful place. The Sheep, Monkey and Rooster all worked together to build a raft, and earned their respective eighth, ninth and tenth places. The Dog came eleventh, having been distracted by playing in the water, and long afterwards, the Pig arrived, claiming twelfth. Unfortunately the Cat arrived too late, so now hates the Rat forever more!

There are many variations on the legend of the zodiac, but that's the one that I grew up with.

I've never celebrated Chinese New Year in China before but really want to, as it is by far the biggest festival in the Chinese calendar and tends to go on for AGES! There are lion dances, feasts, variety shows, fireworks, presents...the works! For me though, I've normally celebrated it with family and friend dinner parties. It is a tradition to eat dumplings, so when I started going to university, it was difficult for me to go home so I learned how to make dumplings and have done so every year now...apart from this one since all the people that I made them with have now left! :(


Pre-made dumplings just don't have the same TLC as home made ones...

Going off-topic, today I went to Mill Road which is where all the Asian supermarkets are. I was planning on buying kimchi, pak choi, udon, sauces, rice snacks, biscuits, sweets, and whatever else I fancied at the time, but in one of the shops, when I got to the till, I realised that I'd left my card at home. CRINGE. I only had a fiver too, so I had to do the really embarrassing ritual of removing items from the shopping bag but still ended up being six pence short. Luckily, the woman let me off. I hope she took pity on my broken Mandarin and was in good spirits because it was CNY! So, the image above shows the only things that I managed to buy... :(


A present from my friends that I mentioned in my last post.

Normally, it's a tradition for us to receive little red envelopes of money from our relatives, but when I checked my pigeon hole today, there was no pocket money from the parents. Hoping something will come tomorrow...! ^^


This is what I had for dinner tonight to celebrate!

I managed to take some in progress photos of my dinner preparations: udon soup and the dumplings I bought, so I'll put up a recipe for the udon soup...probably tomorrow.

Finally, before I sign off, want to know why firecrackers are so popular on Chinese New Year? Well, back in the day, once again, the world was dominated by monsters - a notable one was called Nian, who came out once a year on the same day to destroy villages and gobble up people. People lived in fear and marked the end of the year with the time Nian came out, hence why the word nian is year in Chinese. One day, a man proposed to light bamboo which was supposed to crackle really loudly and could therefore scare Nian away. It worked, and now, firecrackers are lit to reconstruct the crackling of the bamboo.

The end! :)

Yishi xxx

Monday, 16 January 2012

Of bicycles and street vendors...

Hey there, hope you're well! I wanted to post a picture of the view from my window in the morning, but by the time I got up and found my camera, the sun had risen up too much and bleached out everything in sight. But hopefully soon I'll get to show you Old Court and our college Chapel.

Outfit of the day:


For more picspam, see my new style blog: mystyledchopsticks! ^^

Anyway, today I was re-united once again with my beloved and battered bicycle, after seven weeks of being apart. And boy, I could feel what those seven weeks have done to my muscles! I've missed my bike - I don't have one that's my size at home, and whilst I can get away with riding my brother's little bike or the one that I have owned since I was about 10, it just feels outright weird to be riding a kid's bike.

If you ever come to Cambridge, then you'll very soon conclude that Cambridge (although I'm sure Oxford would also pitch in for the title) is the city of bikes - you can't go for five minutes without the sleek sound of spokes whooshing by. It's an icon of the city and an icon of what it means to be a student here. Even if you live close enough to walk to lectures, most students still own a bike for ease of transport, although that isn't to say that there aren't those who make it a point to not own one!

Growing up, I had an image in my mind that cities in China were like this too, that they were famous for their two pedals:


Sourced from here!

I remember seeing old black and white photos of roads filled with cyclists and feeling awed by the mere thought of the words "bicycle kingdom", but in the three times that I have visited China, all I've seen are cars left, right, centre. It was quite a sad realisation for me as I'd really looked forward to seeing the views from the photos in real life, but in retrospect I guess they are now just a symbol of the past and of what life once was, you know, before everyone could afford a car. Apparently, bicycles in China were once held in such high esteem that they were included as wedding presents!

In my mind, there's just something that feels a bit more communal about riding a bike instead of driving, not to mention the health benefits. But speaking of that communal feeling, I got a lot of it today when I was in town on my shopping rounds!

At Market Square, I came across a Chinese vendor selling hats, scarves and other winter goods who was in the middle of haggling with two Chinese girls. I was standing nearby, browsing the cute gloves, and couldn't help but smile at the tactics that the girls were using: cuteness, appeal to race, appeal to the homeland, and "in [insert town name] we get it for only [insert price]!!!". Eventually, they walked off, happy. Now there were some items that I had my eye on, but since I didn't have the courage to try to bargain, I went to Paperchase for a bit and then came back, determined to give it my best shot.

The vendor immediately asked me if I was Chinese, to which I replied yes in Mandarin, and then he asked me if I was from Malaysia... >_< ...I made a face similar to that, so he asked me if I was from Guangdong. I was somewhat surprised as Guangdong is adjacent to Hunan where my parents come from, and I thought my accent sounded more foreigner-trying-to-learn-the-lingo than Southern China Twang. But if he did manage to detect any Southern accent then I am well impressed. On the other hand, if he thought I was Cantonese (on account of Guangdong) learning to speak Mandarin then I am less impressed. Those are answers that I will never know unless I visit his stall again, so I shall no longer dwell on the matter.

Anyway, he told me straight away that since I was Chinese, he was willing to negotiate prices with me - he must've seen my grin when I was listening in on the girls earlier. Not that I was complaining, but when I think about it, it's pretty unfair on others that I get secret discounts just because of my race. In the midst of my bargaining session, I even saw some white tourists drop by and ask the vendor for the price of an item - for them, it was a flat rate, and whilst it may have looked reasonable to the tourists, the vendor and I both knew that the asking price is always much higher than what the vendor is willing to accept. I think this is just a part of Chinese culture, that at every small business shop, as long as the shopkeeper likes you, can speak to you in his mother tongue or is desperate to make a sell then you can very easily whittle the price down.

So with that in mind, I managed to score myself two sets of hats and scarves for almost 50% of his original price. Of course I threw in the "I have no money because I'm a poor student" card, but he already knew that, because I apparently looked so young. He also gave me a leaflet advertising a show about 5,000 years of Chinese culture that looks amazing but is too pricey for me to attend, since "I have no money because I'm a poor student". However, if any of you happen to be in London in April and are interested in attending then my good deed for the day has been done.

On a final note, here is a photo of Gus, our college cat, who decided to take up residence on my friend's bed. She actually called me over to get rid of him, poor thing!


So cute! ^^

Maybe I should've titled this post: how to haggle with a Chinese vendor. Answer: if you can't speak Chinese, then go with someone who can haggle for you.

Yishi xxx

Thursday, 12 January 2012

One nil to me...

SUCCESS!! After a month and a half long battle against Costco, I have finally won my claim! That's one to me, nil to you, corporate conglomeration! :D

Song of the day: Snoop Dogg Millionaire by Wild Animals and Chase & Status

The story starts towards the end of November. Picture this, a stressed Masters student running around labs all day, struggling with a synthesis project that just refused to co-operate, with the only thing to look forward to being a relaxing evening in front of the screen, surfing the net or Skyping with the now ex. So...it was pretty much a soul destroying moment when my dear laptop decided to give up the ghost. After an initial panic, I took it to the PC doctor, my college techie, hoping with all my heart that he could fix it. He told me that unfortunately the graphics chip was faulty as there was a problem with the connectivity and soldering, but he managed to get it temporarily working by sealing up the vents and wrapping the laptop up in bubble wrap before overheating the poor thing! This supposedly melted the solder and reconnected the chip to the motherboard, and whilst it worked, I could not help but wonder what this treatment was doing to the rest of my lappy!

After doing some research, I found out that this graphics chip issue was known in the geek world as the NVIDIA Defect. It was a widespread manufacturing fault, affecting millions of laptops and had been a problem since 2007/2008. In fact, there had even been lawsuits against NVIDIA for this defect.


I came across a wonderful forum called Nvidia Defect that was dedicated to the issue and gave step by step idiot-proof instructions on how to get a satisfactory resolution, since I quickly learned that as the defect was inherent upon purchase, by the Sale of Goods Act (1979) I was entitled to make a claim against the retailer even if my warranty had expired.

And so began a long and arduous process of formal letter sending and emails to Costco's Head Office. At first, I could not believe how sneaky they were - they kept on trying to deny responsibility and to redirect me to the manufacturer. But according to the Sales of Goods Act, it is legally up to the retailer to resolve the issue. I knew that I was right, so I persisted, adopting my most formal and professional mannerisms to ensure that I was taken 100% seriously.

One month of persistence, Engineer's reports, and polite but snappy emails later in which I cited the Act several times, Costco finally admitted responsibility. They collected my laptop and took it away for inspection a few days before the new year, since they didn't seem to trust the independent Engineer's report I obtained as proof of an inherent defect. This bit dragged out for ages, since on a professional level, I guess the New Year isn't really the best time for people to be productive, but finally, I got a result!

I have authorised a refund on your notebook.

I have asked for our Repair team to return your Notebook so that you can
gather a refund from your local Warehouse.

I now consider this matter closed.


I guess this is the first time in my life that I've really stood up for something that I believed in. I've always tried to avoid disputes and confrontations, choosing to fade into the background and let things go rather than taking them up as issues - in the playground, in the sports changing rooms, in the face of people who have nothing nice to say. Looking back, I guess I would've become a much stronger and opinionated person if only I'd challenged issues more, if I hadn't tried to blend in so much. I now realise that at the end of the day, after a while, no one is going to care if you make an issue out of something you're not happy with. In a matter of days or weeks or months, everyone apart from you will forget about it. People have their own lives to worry about, so no one is going to care about yours forever. Of course some will hold grudges, some will hate for the sake of hating, and some will go out of their way to continue to make your life hell, but I now know that as long as you are in the right, then you can hold your head high and just get on with your life as best as you can.

Wow, that went off-topic.

Anyway, the point is that throughout this whole ordeal, I was constantly ridiculed by my parents who thought that I was wasting my time. Well, suck on that, parental units, I got me a full ass refund, kekeke.

Time to pop out the bubbly! :)

Yishi xxx

Wednesday, 11 January 2012

Wonder Girls - The DJ Is Mine [Lyrics]

So, on another Internet procrastinating spree to kill time and to put off revision/packing (yeah I know, I'm only gonna be cursing myself later on), I came across something on Youtube that just made my jaw drop in shock:


K-pop going mainstream USA???

The DJ Is Mine by Wonder Girls (ft. School Gyrls) was released today as their first US single, and is a song that's going to feature on the soundtrack of a Teen Nick movie that they will star in called "The Wonder Girls". Original title, huh? In addition, the song features a band called the School Gyrls who will also be in the movie. Pretty big for a debut from across the ocean, especially as it is oh so rare for an Asian to be in the Western media spotlight, let alone star in a movie, but with the right amount of advertising, (and let's face it, the K-pop industry is notorious for publicity drive), the band could really get a foothold in the USA. Here's to hoping for their success and to paving the way for more Asian artists to follow!


Something I found utterly fascinating is that in a few small parts of the video, the girls don't look...Asian. Mixed race, yes, but not 100% Asian. And then that made me think - is this the power of a Photoshop related program and or the power of make-up? To me, it's as if they are trying to come across as white as possible, perhaps to appeal more to a Western audience?

In light of the recent Kids React To K-pop video, I guess that with the mixed reactions from the kids (I'm definitely considering that a legit source of sample since kids definitely tell it like it is! ^^), one could extrapolate the reactions to the rest of the population and conclude that it's definitely going to be a challenge for an Asian band to make it big. And by big, I mean mainstream, widespread, bigger than the niche K-pop fanbase that already exists, bigger than the niche anime/manga fandom that's been riding the subculture wave a few years ago; Nicki Minaj big, Rihanna big, top ten big.

So it's a good step that the band are releasing a song in English...and whilst the beat is good, I severely question the quality of the lyrics...


He is mine
I am the only thing on his mind
He thinks about me all the time
He got my love everywhere

Nobody treats him like I do
It's no party if I'm not in the room
My song keeps his heart in tune
Like babadadadadadadumdum

He loves me and I love him too
He plays me all the night through
He keeps me spinning and grinning
And grinning over from you
Singing (Lalalala)

Every day (Lalalala) he sings with me (lalalalala)
He knows me, he holds me from introface

Cuz the DJ is mine
And girl you're wasting your time
He only rocks to my music
He loves the way I do it all night
The DJ is mine

(My baby, my my baby) The DJ is mine (my baby)
He only rocks to my music
He loves the way I do it all night
The DJ is mine

Girl please, don't you even try
My baby, keeps me by his side
Even though you keep giving him the eye
He don't even notice

Every day (Lalalalala)
He sings with me (Lalalalala)
He knows me, he holds me

Cuz the DJ is mine
And girl you're wasting your time
He only rocks to my music
He loves the way I do it all night

One, two, three, four!

Cuz the DJ is mine
And girl you're wasting your time
He only rocks to my music
He loves the way I do it all night
The DJ is mine

I'm what he's listening to
I'm blasting through his headphones
It's me he fallin' in love with
Yeah I got his head gone
He can't even answer the phone
My music keeps on turning him on
And on and on and on and on
He say she say I say I own the DJ
Say it the top of his charts
I am the air play
Fly-er than airplanes
I know you hear me
In case you didn't
Let let me reiterate
Let me re, let me re
Let me reiterate

He is mine
I am the only thing on his mind
He thinks about me all the time
He got my love everywhere

Cuz the DJ is mine
And girl you're wasting your time
He only rocks to my music
He loves the way I do it all night

One, two, three, four!

Cuz the DJ is mine
And girl you're wasting your time
He only rocks to my music
He loves the way I do it all night
The DJ is mine

(My baby, my my baby) The DJ is mine (my baby)
He only rocks to my music
He loves the way I do it all night
The DJ is mine


Maybe one day Asian music will be to the West in the same way that hip-hop, rap and R'n'B music has become!

All my love,

Yishi xxx

Tuesday, 10 January 2012

Identity Crisis

Today, I was browsing through Chinasmack and came across this article, which showcases the opinions of the Tiexue forum regarding Chinese soldiers that died in the Iraq war. Now whilst there are many many different issues that the article does raise, the one that hit me the hardest was about nationalism and identity, and what it means to be Chinese.

The first comment from the forum went along the lines of this: "Overseas ethnic Chinese, has nothing to do with us!"


Click the image for an awesome article on the b word! ^^

And then it gets worse:

"These people who deserted their motherland, 100 of them can die and they still wouldn’t deserve any sympathy."

Um, what? Despite knowing that it is only a minority who believe things like that, I was still shocked by the comments and the strength of hate in the words. I didn't take it too personally since there are haters in every single country, but still, it made me think - as someone who was born and raised in the UK, would I be subject to that same attitude even though I did not choose my life circumstances? In their eyes, am I even entitled to evoke my ethnicity?

When meeting new people, I'm often asked where I come from, and I usually cite the town that I was born in. The usual response to that is a puzzled frown with optional further interrogation depending on how high their bold gauge happens to be. I always know what answer they're really after - "You're from China, right?", so it both vexes and amuses me how people usually already have a pre-conceived answer in their mind before they even open their mouth. An equally frustrating, but often hilarious situation is when I'm asked that question by Chinese nationals, and then when I give the long spiel about how I'm Chinese but was born and brought up in the UK, they tell me that they think that I look Filipina/Malay/Thai/Vietnamese/Korean/ [insert any Asian identity other than Chinese].

Again, um, what?

This article sums up the issue pretty well.

Growing up, I've always had to deal with never fully being able to fit in with my white peers on account of my skin colour, but when faced with nationals, once I open my mouth it's pretty much the same issue since therally don't consider me to be one of them. Moral of the story: do not open the mouth else the camouflage is blown. In this case, I think it is due to the language barrier - my spoken Chinese is nowhere near as good as theirs, and I guess my mannerisms and style are different to theirs which does make communication a little bit awkward sometimes. But that isn't to say that everyone is like that, although it is pretty telling that most of my closer Asian friends are fluent in English and have been exposed to British culture for some period of time.

So...to backtrack, my name and skin colour makes me Chinese, but my passport, residence and mannerisms make me British? Would it make more of a difference if I was more fluent in the mother tongue? I suspect so, as this is an issue that some of my other local Chinese friends have also come across, especially at university. Although, thinking about it, I have it pretty simple. What about people who have lived in several different countries, or people who have parents of different ethnicities? Where do they fit in?

Since identity is a very personal matter, I guess that it really is up to the individual to decide where they are from and then for them to stay strong if challenged since life is never an easy ride for those that are different to the normal population in one way or another. For me, home is where the heart is, and whilst I am proud to be Chinese and to share the BBC and ABC culture with millions, if I had to choose between which country feels more like home to me, I would have to say England! ^^

Song of the day: Not Afraid by Eminem

All my love,

Yishi xxx

Sunday, 1 January 2012

New Year Resolutions

Happy New Year! :)

Here are my grand resolutions~

♥ Graduate with a 2.1
♥ Decide what I want to do with my life: score a job/get a vocational qualification/teach English abroad?
♥ Get some commercial awareness
♥ Become a better swimmer and master the front crawl
♥ Continue with gym and try to lose body fat
♥ Fix my skin so that it is not so dry
♥ Improve my foreign language skills laaaah~
♥ Learn how to cook ten new dishes to perfection
♥ Find a new style for myself
♥ And live each day as if it is my last, with no regrets!

Here's to the new year!

Yishi xxx

Saturday, 31 December 2011

2011 Overview

Looking back, this year has been a complete rollercoaster from beginning to end. Emotionally, physically, mentally, romantically - so much has happened that it's too overwhelming to think about! I made and lost friends (but learned who my true friends are), started going to the gym (but didn't work out enough), scored an internship (but didn't try hard enough), finally turned my studies around (but not enough) and learned to swim. In some aspects of my life, I overcame my challenges, whilst in other aspects, I drowned hard. Two incidents stand out, one of which is very fresh in recent memory.

I'll be leaving this year and entering the new one with the cast of Boys Before Flowers, since I didn't manage to get my act together and hop on a train to London to be with university friends. Hopefully this will change. Hopefully a new year will be a fresh start. Hopefully a new year will banish the negativity that has been weighing me down like an anchor.

Until then my lovelies, I'll be waiting for you on the other side of the moon~ *wistful smile*

Yishi xxx