Inside Out by Britney Spears

Wow, Youtube must be in sync with my emotions because it recommended me this song which I have now been listening to on repeat for the last half hour:

                        Original                                                   Remix feat. Eminem

I recommend the Eminem remix if you are feeling particularly angsty. Here is a ballad remake version that I believe is better than the original:

[Lyrics - Verse 1]

Said you’re gonna be here in a minute
Sitting in the mirror getting pretty
Gotta look my best if we’re gonna break up
Gotta look my best if we’re gonna break up

I can hear you knocking at the front door
And I know exactly what u came for

Trying to say goodbye but it’s hot and heavy
Trying to say goodbye but it’s hot and heavy

You touch me and it’s breaking me down
I’m telling you let’s just give it up and get down

[Chorus]

So come on won’t you give me something to remember?
Baby shut your mouth and turn me inside out
Even though we couldn’t last forever, baby
You know what I want right now

Hit me one more time it’s so amazing
How you shook my world and flipped it upside down
You’re the only one who ever drove me crazy
'cause you know me inside out

[Britney Spears - Verse 2]

I know that we probably shouldn’t do this
Wake up in the morning feeling stupid
Said that we were done but you’re all up on me
Said that we were done but you’re all up on me

Tell me how we got in this position
Guess I gotta get you out my system
Trying to let you go but it’s not that easy
Trying to let you go but it’s not that easy

You touch me and it’s breaking me down
I’m telling you let’s just give it up and get down

[Chorus]

So come on won’t you give me something to remember?
Baby shut your mouth and turn me inside out
Even though we couldn’t last forever, baby
You know what I want right now
Hit me one more time it’s so amazing
How you shook my world and flipped it upside down
You’re the only one who ever drove me crazy
’cause you know me inside out

Yishi xxx

There ain't no party like a grad party

Hey guys! :)

This is a photo of my lab group in December 2011:

Two of the people have left though... :(

Last night, one of my lab mates held a party at her place, which was themed bright colours to warm up the winter ~ despite it no longer being that cold. But it was still a nice idea, and gave me something to look forward to during the day since I ended up staying in the department until 7pm to finish off some work for E...who then told me that his boss was making him work all weekend so he wouldn't have time to mark it! :'(

Nevermind!

Song of the day: Moves Like Jagger by Maroon 5 (this came on a few times at the party hehe)

On the plus side, I was really happy that I was finally moving ahead in my synthesis, all thanks to the lovely S who was so helpful. He is quite a character, a wonderful guy full of witty banter and always lights up the lab (in fact, the title of my post is a quote by him). Although he refers to me as the lovable klutz and says he only helps me out to stop me from being a danger and hurting myself... -_-:;

Anyway, this is what I wore to the party:

Click the image to go to my style blog to find out more about this outfit! :)

There, I met my other lab buddies, and was finally introduced to some other chemists. Since I arrived late, S was already tipsy which was odd to see but I liked that he was really nice to me and was with me all evening (OK, I admit it, S is pretty cute~!). In retrospect, I felt really good about myself all night. Maybe it was because I was hanging out with people who were more chilled about life, since they had all graduated. Or maybe it was because I was just getting out there meeting new people ~ for the last few years, I've been pretty social and it's only been this year where I've kinda...stopped... :/

I found it really amusing that in the department, I seem to have gotten a reputation for always wearing heels, leggings and shorts, when a semester ago, no one noticed me for the denim and trainers. Guess my New Year Resolution of style change has been working...maybe?

We took a rainbow photo! :D

There was a really nice cocktail that was butterscotch, ice cream and cream, which tasted so yummy, like Angel Delight! :)

Inevitably, conversation turned to relationships, and it was kinda weird to sit there and listen to the grads chat about being engaged and stuff. I pretty much told S that it was a shame he was engaged (hehe) and also told him the identity of the guy who I had a high school crush on...my supervisor E...much to S's eternal amusement... -_-:;

"It's the brains isn't it?"

But one thing I learned from the grads is that if you like someone, you should tell them because life is too short. And that girls need to be forward. There was a girl I met who was engaged to another guy at the party...after driving away all of his girlfriends for the last few years. She said that she pretty much told him he was going to be hers and proceeded to make it happen.

Totally wish I had that confidence!

Although the situation here is kinda weird since E is my course supervisor so our dynamic is mainly a student teacher one. Which I really don't think I should compromise until after I finish my exams! E also has plans to go to America to do his post doctorate after the summer, and I need to focus on my exams so...what are your opinions and perspectives on this matter?

Yishi xxx

The meaning of love

Good evening!

Today, I brought some pandan cake into the lab to share with my colleagues. They were a little suspicious about the colour of the cake ~ this isn't my photo by the way, I borrowed it from Google because we ate it all:

Image source here!

As was I when I first saw a green cake, hehe! But then I realised how good it tastes. Now that is the meaning of love... :P

Song of the day: Good Day (Ashilia and JD Relic English Cover) by IU (I am so in love with their voices! I now associate this song with someone who I wanted to confess to last year hehehe...I think I still want to confess xD)

Anyway, this afternoon, I was browsing Facebook in the lab, and got asked on chat by a complete stranger what the meaning of love was for me.

It was so totally out of the blue that at first, I just sat back and stared, speechless. Then I realised that the guy couldn't actually see my response so I echoed it in words.

From here!

His question was definitely good food for thought though. In the last few months, I've 'loved' and lost, had my heart shattered, done some soul searching, and observed the development and destruction of a romance between two close friends which has given me some major perspective on facets of my own life ~ especially when I see some all too painful parallels and have to offer support to a friend who is on The Other Side, i.e. doing the destroying. So I guess I'm a little wiser now.


But still not wise enough to really be able to provide a concrete answer to that question: what is the meaning of love for me? Although, I think I'd probably start off with something along the lines of:

♥ A number close to 42... :P
♥ Someone who you want to spend every waking moment with
♥ Caring so much about someone that you would do almost anything for them
♥ Feeling as though you are not complete without your other half
♥ Knowing them almost as well as you know yourself
♥ A feeling so intense that it becomes a double edged blade

Then again, there are different types of love, all equally pure. It was obvious that the guy was asking me about the romantic kind of love, but I should not neglect to mention the other kinds: platonic love and the unconditional love that a parent has for their children.

I guess I've always been an idealist about things like this (which is definitely not a good thing!), so for me, it's not a word that I'd throw around lightly. Thank you teenage romance novels for this influence...!

So guys, what is the meaning of love for you?

Yishi xxx

Photo Diary: My Cambridge Room!

Hey guys! Sorry for the lack of updates; had a pretty busy weekend and today I've just moved back to my room in college so this is the first chance that I have to post! :)

I guess I haven't really said much about the ex in my last few posts, so I'll just state here that although we're now on good terms, if real life was a Facebook page then it would read: "it's complicated". Anyway, I went to visit him last weekend, and this weekend too for his housemate's birthday. Below is a dish that I salvaged:

He tried to make a Korean beansprout soup. I rescued it and turned it into a yummy spicy udon soup.

Anyway, moving on...

Song of the day: Dreamers by afterschoolspecial

The main reason for this post is because I want to show you my room! Ever wondered what a room is like in a college in Cambridge University? Well, now you can find out if you just scroll down...*drum roll*...but really, it's not that exciting...

So many shelves...

This room shares a (thin) wall with the college bar, which has the unfortunate and unsurprising tendency to attract a lot of noisy students in the evenings, but normally my music is enough to drown out the unwanted noise. Although, tonight it has been ghostly quiet and I know not why...

Tokki, Snowy and my Graduation Owl to keep me company!

The heating in my room gets temperamental at times, but today it is fully functioning so I will be very warm (and happy) tonight! When it wasn't working last semester, it made for some very cold nights since my windows are single glazing and I am plagued by cold air drafts.

Pretty cupboards!

Decided to throw in a picture of the cupboard set as I quite liked the design.

Dinner...not very pretty I know, but I was too hungry to care at the time!

My parents bought a crate of instant noodles from Costco for me to get through the darker times of student life. The brand is called Mr Noodles, and the crate proudly proclaims "KIMCHI chicken, no trans fats" which made me very excited. However, one sniff of the soup base powder and I knew I would be disappointed, so it's a good thing that I added a load of extra ingredients to boost this dish: Chinese mushrooms, chicken fillet chunks, pak choi, spring onions, and one egg. Result? Something tasty that I gobbled down in minutes!

A little something that I'm making!

Finally, I want to show you a photo of a scarf that I'm knitting at the moment, to match a hat that I made as a Christmas present for SJ since I figured that I may as well not let the extra wool that I purchased go to waste. I started this project on Thursday night and managed to knit 80cm so far! If any of you want to know what pattern I am using then you can find it here from a lovely blog called Cotton and Cloud! :)

Here's to hoping that this will be a good semester for me!

Yishi xxx

Laughter

How to mend a broken heart #3: Laughter

And lot's of it. But first, a health and sanity check up is order. Healthwise, I think I'm ill...ah hell. Not much I can do about that other than force myself to eat and drink and sleep. I'm feeling less hollow now - distractions are keeping me going, such as escaping via the medium of the critically acclaimed and totally addictive Boys Over Flowers (ZOMGSOGOOD ^_^)!!!

Going off tangent somewhat, when it comes to texts, the single x still gets to me though, since I sign off with one x to most of my friends, so it's kinda like saying, "oh, you're just another friend now amongst my sea of friends, nothing special anymore." As for my habits, I tend to give two to people who I hold in high estimation, and three or more to really special people...and the kind of people who go crazily overboard with the x signage on their own texts hehehe!

Dreamed about him again, but it was only a minor little thing - more like a memory of us staying together. And speaking of dreams, I came across this on fb and it made me chuckle:

Bwahahahahaha! >:)

I kinda wish the ex had gotten me an easier gift to cuddle with at night. Tokki is kinda awkward to sleep with, since he/she/it...probably a she is delicate - I'm always worried that I may tear off the glued on flowers in a fit of REM induced rage...heh.

So, since laughter is supposed to be the best medicine for the soul, here are some videos that brought a smile to mah face:


AHAHAHAHA...


...so true...!


It was me! I'm the hero!

Oh, and let's totally not forget this timeless classic... >:)

Anyway... ^^

Gotta stay strong, eat food, and conjugate verbs! 加油! 아자 아자! *waves flag*

All my love,

Yishi xxx

Friendship

How to mend a broken heart: #2 Friendship

Turn to your nearest and dearest, to all those people that you inadvertently neglected. Renew and strengthen old ties, learn who your true friends are, the people who stick with you through the highs and the lows.

Yesterday evening I met up with some high school friends who I had not seen in at least a year, and today I met up with a good friend from primary school. A parcel also arrived for me today, completely out of the blue: an unexpected gift from H! Although he refers to himself as "P-dawg"... ¬_¬


This like, totally awesome chopping board and colander all in one. Trust H to always be so practical and logical minded!

I've also been in contact with some uni friends who've given me the most helpful advice (in contrast to another friend who offered to get the ex's legs broken and was serious about it trolololol). P-dawg told me that I had no obligation to stay friends with the ex, and that I didn't even have to talk to him, which was kinda ironic since P-dawg and I were in a similar situation earlier on this year! Another close friend told me to break off contact, and to get rid of everything that reminds me of him, including all the gifts he got for me. So that means the big heart little heart necklace, the Ted Baker necklace, and Tokki, who I've started cuddling with at night... :(

When he gets a new girlfriend, she won't like that he has gifts from me, and will probably tell him to get rid of Nemo, and will he listen to her?

*sigh*

Last night I dreamed about him again. This time, we were sharing a room in dorms of some kind, located in some faraway make believe countryside that had manga shops and quaint cobblestones. In my dream, we were both really happy, of the variety where you play fight and cuddle and stuff, and I asked him teasingly, "Can I still call you oppa?" And he was like, "No, call me noona instead" ...which totally does not make any sense whatsoever in any time, manner or place. But such is the world of dreams.

It's an old tactic that I used to turn to a lot in my darker days, but if I cannot find happiness by existing right now, then at least I can find solace in sleep. Seeing that the texts no longer sign off with "xxx" is a painful reminder each time.

Gotta stay strong, gotta eat, gotta fricking study...brave face, brave smile! ^^

All my love,

Yishi xxx

Retail Therapy

How to mend a broken heart: #1 retail therapy.

Today, I decided to hit the outlet sales, in an attempt to take my mind off of things. And guess what? It worked!

I decided to try wearing the heels I got for Christmas, so for the next six hours solid, I walked around in four inch stilettos. Turns out they were surprisingly comfortable, and I had no trouble walking around in them (although I don't think I'm ready to run a mile in them yet). Other than the check-out glances I got every now and then, I didn't even notice I had them on - I could've been wearing any other slightly heeled shoe in my closet. I could get used to viewing the world from my new height!

Although I'm not going to make it a regular thing since I've read stuff about shoes screwing your body over later on in life.

Anyway.

My problem when buying clothes is that it's really hard for me to see what I can team up new buys with, so in the past, I end up buying individual things that I think are really pretty, but don't really go well with anything else I own. Well, this has to change. From now on, I won't buy, no matter how pretty the clothing is, unless I can match it with something that is currently in my wardrobe.

So today, I only bought two things:


A cute Ralph Lauren faux wrap blouse!

And...

A pair of 4 inch Albano heels!

Do you know what those shoes are saying? They're whispering: "do you want to have sex with me...omnomnom...kthxbai!" :P

The aesthetic powers of that shoe are incredible...! And like, I only just discovered this...where have you been my whole life?

I think I'll team up the blouse with a cute pair of shorts or some skinny jeans for a smart casual look, and the heels will go with pretty much anything since they're edgy and black. Hopefully, this new approach to upgrade my wardrobe into something classier [elegant/sexy/hot/insert every other adjective I used in my last post about the kind of girl that guys go for] will be a good step towards change... ^^

On a more sombre note, it's been two days since the break-up, and I still miss him a lot. When I can take my mind off things, the pain eases up a little, so I think that I will take each day as it comes and try not to get upset too much since my parents don't know about him at all - it's a good thing that I didn't tell them then! Maybe if I can rebuild myself, improve myself, and just stay strong, it doesn't have to be the end.

I can still wish for a One Day kind of happily ever after (without the actual ending of the novel, of course...!)

All my love,

Yishi xxx