Turn to your nearest and dearest, to all those people that you inadvertently neglected. Renew and strengthen old ties, learn who your true friends are, the people who stick with you through the highs and the lows.
Yesterday evening I met up with some high school friends who I had not seen in at least a year, and today I met up with a good friend from primary school. A parcel also arrived for me today, completely out of the blue: an unexpected gift from H! Although he refers to himself as "P-dawg"... ¬_¬
This like, totally awesome chopping board and colander all in one. Trust H to always be so practical and logical minded!
I've also been in contact with some uni friends who've given me the most helpful advice (in contrast to another friend who offered to get the ex's legs broken and was serious about it trolololol). P-dawg told me that I had no obligation to stay friends with the ex, and that I didn't even have to talk to him, which was kinda ironic since P-dawg and I were in a similar situation earlier on this year! Another close friend told me to break off contact, and to get rid of everything that reminds me of him, including all the gifts he got for me. So that means the big heart little heart necklace, the Ted Baker necklace, and Tokki, who I've started cuddling with at night... :(
When he gets a new girlfriend, she won't like that he has gifts from me, and will probably tell him to get rid of Nemo, and will he listen to her?
*sigh*
Last night I dreamed about him again. This time, we were sharing a room in dorms of some kind, located in some faraway make believe countryside that had manga shops and quaint cobblestones. In my dream, we were both really happy, of the variety where you play fight and cuddle and stuff, and I asked him teasingly, "Can I still call you oppa?" And he was like, "No, call me noona instead" ...which totally does not make any sense whatsoever in any time, manner or place. But such is the world of dreams.
It's an old tactic that I used to turn to a lot in my darker days, but if I cannot find happiness by existing right now, then at least I can find solace in sleep. Seeing that the texts no longer sign off with "xxx" is a painful reminder each time.
Gotta stay strong, gotta eat, gotta fricking study...brave face, brave smile! ^^
All my love,
Yishi xxx
Yishi!
ReplyDeleteI am staaaalking your blog ~
i find it really nice, so I hope you dont mind.
Anyway, this is a 4 months late advice from a random hopeless romantic stranger. LOL
you don't have to force yourself into forgetting and breaking ties though, the sudden disconnection is just too big to handle in addition to the break-up.
it sounds ridiculous, but maybe the best way to get over it is to let yourself voluntarily stop the loving,and stop hurting.
it takes time, but having happy thoughts and crazy hopes and wishes pretty much gets you through, and friends,food and movies too!
you don't probably need this right now, and you're probably better already :DD
but I just cant help noticing and commenting on this. hahahha
I hope you're holding up well these days.