Saturday, 31 December 2011

2011 Overview

Looking back, this year has been a complete rollercoaster from beginning to end. Emotionally, physically, mentally, romantically - so much has happened that it's too overwhelming to think about! I made and lost friends (but learned who my true friends are), started going to the gym (but didn't work out enough), scored an internship (but didn't try hard enough), finally turned my studies around (but not enough) and learned to swim. In some aspects of my life, I overcame my challenges, whilst in other aspects, I drowned hard. Two incidents stand out, one of which is very fresh in recent memory.

I'll be leaving this year and entering the new one with the cast of Boys Before Flowers, since I didn't manage to get my act together and hop on a train to London to be with university friends. Hopefully this will change. Hopefully a new year will be a fresh start. Hopefully a new year will banish the negativity that has been weighing me down like an anchor.

Until then my lovelies, I'll be waiting for you on the other side of the moon~ *wistful smile*

Yishi xxx

Friday, 30 December 2011

Boys Before Flowers ♥

Drama (of the K variety), romance, hot guys? Need I say more? ^^

꽃보다 남자, or Boys Before Flowers/Boys Over Flowers has been my lifeline these last few days, as Gossip Girl was two years ago, and boy is this series addictive! I'm only ten episodes in, but from episode one, I could definitely see why there has been so much hype about it!

We are introduced to the main character, Geum Jan Di, a dry cleaner's daughter who saves a bullied student from committing suicide at the prestigious Shinhwa High School when she is delivering dry cleaning. As a result, she gets accepted and enrolled into the school, but soon finds herself a target once she stands up to the infamous F4, the idols of the school and the ones who are in charge of the bullying. War breaks out since she is the first to stand up to the group, and the first to retaliate but the resilient Jan Di stands her ground and refuses to bow down. As her life becomes more and more entangled with those of the F4, romance and drama are never far away...

I gotta say that Asian drama is nothing like anything I've seen before: everything is more emotional, more intense, and I just feel so connected to the characters (...probably because you know, they have black hair and brown eyes...just sayin'...)!

There were many times that I found myself getting teary eyed, especially at little acts of kindness or things that came straight from the heart. Unspoken words, longing glances, eyes meeting across a crowded room. Shared values and beliefs, the knowledge of what makes life a struggle, and the uneasiness of not knowing. To highlight - the whole Ji Hoo subplot is totally heart-breaking. I mean, falling in and out of love is bad enough, but to have loved someone so strongly and unrequitedly for over ten years? That's torture.

Even though the storylines have been done before in Western dramas: high school war, bitchy girls, back-stabbing and love triangles, I definitely felt like there was something intangibly special here, something unique that no Western director could ever bring, but maybe that's just because I can identify much more with the characters here to some degree by virtue of appearance and culture. I guess what I'm saying is, that it's nice to see rice and chopsticks featuring so prominently on the screen for once! ^^

Oh, and how can you not melt when the boys flash these smiles?

How can you not fall for this piece of bad-assery?

Jun Pyo kyaaaaaa~!!

And who does not want to be like this feisty girl? ^^

Go Jan Di, go Jan Di!

I wish I had a little brother like Geum Kang San:

He is just so adorably cute in every single scene!

I only wish that I could have had the chance to watch this with the ex, since I'm sure he'd have rolled his eyes non-stop at all the petty dramas and romances. But anyway, if you need something new to watch that'll keep you on the edge of your seat, then BBF is your next guilty viewing pleasure hehe!

All my love,

Yishi xxx

Thursday, 29 December 2011


How to mend a broken heart #3: Laughter

And lot's of it. But first, a health and sanity check up is order. Healthwise, I think I'm ill...ah hell. Not much I can do about that other than force myself to eat and drink and sleep. I'm feeling less hollow now - distractions are keeping me going, such as escaping via the medium of the critically acclaimed and totally addictive Boys Over Flowers (ZOMGSOGOOD ^_^)!!!

Going off tangent somewhat, when it comes to texts, the single x still gets to me though, since I sign off with one x to most of my friends, so it's kinda like saying, "oh, you're just another friend now amongst my sea of friends, nothing special anymore." As for my habits, I tend to give two to people who I hold in high estimation, and three or more to really special people...and the kind of people who go crazily overboard with the x signage on their own texts hehehe!

Dreamed about him again, but it was only a minor little thing - more like a memory of us staying together. And speaking of dreams, I came across this on fb and it made me chuckle:

Bwahahahahaha! >:)

I kinda wish the ex had gotten me an easier gift to cuddle with at night. Tokki is kinda awkward to sleep with, since he/she/it...probably a she is delicate - I'm always worried that I may tear off the glued on flowers in a fit of REM induced rage...heh.

So, since laughter is supposed to be the best medicine for the soul, here are some videos that brought a smile to mah face:

AHAHAHAHA... true...!

It was me! I'm the hero!

Oh, and let's totally not forget this timeless classic... >:)

Anyway... ^^

Gotta stay strong, eat food, and conjugate verbs! 加油! 아자 아자! *waves flag*

All my love,

Yishi xxx

Wednesday, 28 December 2011


How to mend a broken heart: #2 Friendship

Turn to your nearest and dearest, to all those people that you inadvertently neglected. Renew and strengthen old ties, learn who your true friends are, the people who stick with you through the highs and the lows.

Yesterday evening I met up with some high school friends who I had not seen in at least a year, and today I met up with a good friend from primary school. A parcel also arrived for me today, completely out of the blue: an unexpected gift from H! Although he refers to himself as "P-dawg"... ¬_¬

This like, totally awesome chopping board and colander all in one. Trust H to always be so practical and logical minded!

I've also been in contact with some uni friends who've given me the most helpful advice (in contrast to another friend who offered to get the ex's legs broken and was serious about it trolololol). P-dawg told me that I had no obligation to stay friends with the ex, and that I didn't even have to talk to him, which was kinda ironic since P-dawg and I were in a similar situation earlier on this year! Another close friend told me to break off contact, and to get rid of everything that reminds me of him, including all the gifts he got for me. So that means the big heart little heart necklace, the Ted Baker necklace, and Tokki, who I've started cuddling with at night... :(

When he gets a new girlfriend, she won't like that he has gifts from me, and will probably tell him to get rid of Nemo, and will he listen to her?


Last night I dreamed about him again. This time, we were sharing a room in dorms of some kind, located in some faraway make believe countryside that had manga shops and quaint cobblestones. In my dream, we were both really happy, of the variety where you play fight and cuddle and stuff, and I asked him teasingly, "Can I still call you oppa?" And he was like, "No, call me noona instead" ...which totally does not make any sense whatsoever in any time, manner or place. But such is the world of dreams.

It's an old tactic that I used to turn to a lot in my darker days, but if I cannot find happiness by existing right now, then at least I can find solace in sleep. Seeing that the texts no longer sign off with "xxx" is a painful reminder each time.

Gotta stay strong, gotta eat, gotta fricking study...brave face, brave smile! ^^

All my love,

Yishi xxx

Tuesday, 27 December 2011

Retail Therapy

How to mend a broken heart: #1 retail therapy.

Today, I decided to hit the outlet sales, in an attempt to take my mind off of things. And guess what? It worked!

I decided to try wearing the heels I got for Christmas, so for the next six hours solid, I walked around in four inch stilettos. Turns out they were surprisingly comfortable, and I had no trouble walking around in them (although I don't think I'm ready to run a mile in them yet). Other than the check-out glances I got every now and then, I didn't even notice I had them on - I could've been wearing any other slightly heeled shoe in my closet. I could get used to viewing the world from my new height!

Although I'm not going to make it a regular thing since I've read stuff about shoes screwing your body over later on in life.


My problem when buying clothes is that it's really hard for me to see what I can team up new buys with, so in the past, I end up buying individual things that I think are really pretty, but don't really go well with anything else I own. Well, this has to change. From now on, I won't buy, no matter how pretty the clothing is, unless I can match it with something that is currently in my wardrobe.

So today, I only bought two things:

A cute Ralph Lauren faux wrap blouse!


A pair of 4 inch Albano heels!

Do you know what those shoes are saying? They're whispering: "do you want to have sex with me...omnomnom...kthxbai!" :P

The aesthetic powers of that shoe are incredible...! And like, I only just discovered this...where have you been my whole life?

I think I'll team up the blouse with a cute pair of shorts or some skinny jeans for a smart casual look, and the heels will go with pretty much anything since they're edgy and black. Hopefully, this new approach to upgrade my wardrobe into something classier [elegant/sexy/hot/insert every other adjective I used in my last post about the kind of girl that guys go for] will be a good step towards change... ^^

On a more sombre note, it's been two days since the break-up, and I still miss him a lot. When I can take my mind off things, the pain eases up a little, so I think that I will take each day as it comes and try not to get upset too much since my parents don't know about him at all - it's a good thing that I didn't tell them then! Maybe if I can rebuild myself, improve myself, and just stay strong, it doesn't have to be the end.

I can still wish for a One Day kind of happily ever after (without the actual ending of the novel, of course...!)

All my love,

Yishi xxx

Sunday, 25 December 2011

Merry Christmas!

Hey guys! I hope you've had a wonderful day today and that all your Christmas wishes came true! :)

So, as I said yesterday, today we celebrated Christmas at a family friend's house which was fun fun fun! Besides all the yummy cooking - scallops, crab, crispy beef, pickled salad, fried chicken, waterlily patties, duck, fish, tofu soup, sweet soup and more - we ended up watching Ratatouille, The Grufallo's Child, Doctor Who, Strictly Come Dancing, and most of Juno. Pretty epic line-up this year, but sadly, no board games! :(

I'm sure you don't want me to ramble on any longer, so before I sign off, I just wanted to share with you the gifts that I got this year:

Modest but meaningful!

A handmade furry hoodie with bear ears from my dear friend Agent Double T (I knitted her a scarf and handwarmers in return which does not cover her kindness, not by a long shot); that pair of shoes that I lusted about in a previous post; enough money from family and friends to keep me happy for a long time; Tokki the handwarmer and a cute necklace, both from the bf!

Which I wore tonight! ^^

In return, I got him a ring, since he gives his rings meanings and he lost the one he assigned to symbolically represent me... *eyeroll* ...I also have a few other things for him but they will remain a secret until I next see him.

He assigned it to represent "being chained down"... ¬_¬

Anyway, as I've already said, I really do hope that you have a wonderful holiday. Even if you are not religious (which I'm not), I still think that this is a day which we should spend with our loved ones and a day where you should enjoy every bit of the time you spend together. Memories are precious things, and in a world where there is so much stress, suffering and depression, we need a ray of sunshine in our lives to remind us of the warmth that positive human emotions can bring. So I say, bring on the festive cheer! ^^

All my love,

Yishi xxx

Saturday, 24 December 2011

Christmas Eve!

Hey guys, long time no post! Since I got home, I've had to deal with a broken laptop so haven't really been able to get online at all - in fact, right now I'm using my daddy's laptop to write this, ah well. I want to share with you how I celebrate Christmas. Normally, my family's circle of friends will invite each other around, so we'd have a line of dinner parties scheduled to attend. It's more of a friend thing, since most of our extended families - grandparents, aunts and uncles all live in China. The hosting family will have spent all day cooking up a multitude of yummy Chinese food - no turkey for us *sadface* - but instead, you can expect some homemade fried chicken, pork roast, waterlily and mince patties, seafood of every shape and form, spicy noodle salad, pork rib soup, all of which is cooked the Asian way. That is just a fraction of the dishes that I've come across at Christmas!

Afterwards, the kids will watch a movie together - Mean Girls tends to be a classic, and we'll also play board games like Boggle, Monopoly (another classic), and Game of Life. Meanwhile the adults play cards, drink tea, and chat at the table. Thinking about it, technically, I'm an adult now, but me and my friends still get shunted to the kiddy table at these gatherings since we're of a different generation to the parents.

This year, my family decided to celebrate as a family on Christmas Eve, since my mother wasn't working today! And...we did it British style!

At first, we didn't have a tree up, which was kinda worrying considering how it's Christmas Eve. And our house seriously needed an injection of Christmas spirit hehe...

Much better now! The instrument you can partly see is called the gu zheng and yes, I play it! ^^

We decided to have a traditional British Christmas dinner this year: turkey, cranberry sauce, gravy, potatoes, carrots and Brussels sprouts - forgot to get stuffing but oh well! My parents couldn't resist though, and also served up some homegrown veggies from the allotment and some fish, cooked Chinese style.

Doing it the British way...ish!

Afterwards, we played Mah Jong all evening which was really nice as our family doesn't really spend a lot of time together these days.

Anyway, SJ, if you're reading this, I hope you have a great Christmas, and not to be demanding or anything, but it would be nice to hear from you on how you are doing these days since I'm feeling a bit rocky about us at the moment...*sigh* :(

To everyone else...MERRY CHRISTMAS!! :D

Lots of love,

Yishi xxx

Saturday, 17 December 2011

My bunny hand muff warmer~♥

So today is the last day that I spent with SJ; tomorrow I will be heading home to face the wrath of the parental units who as of yet, do not know about the existence of le boyfriend... D:

We ended up going into town to buy presents for people - at John Lewis, I bought some wool and some needles to knit my friend a scarf, since she's making me a cute fluffy hoodie with animal ears! ^_^

I also got some nice wines for my parents. With my and SJ's disagreement fresh in my mind, I came across a section in M&S that were selling shoes, and determined to prove that I could wear a heel and that the reason I didn't wear them was by choice (I mean come on, pain for the sake of conforming to men's standards of beauty? Uh, call me a closet feminist but no-siree!), I made a beeline for the shelves. And found this:

£65, Suede triple buckle boots, Autograph, M&S

AAAAHHHH they were soooo nice to walk in!! And I didn't feel like I was going to break my ankle! Nor did it feel like my feet were being crushed! I think I just had an epiphany...

The final thing I got was a spur of the moment gift from SJ. We were walking along the main street when we passed a stall manned by an Asian couple who were selling REALLY CUTE PLUSHIE THINGS! They had cute hats, cute jewellery and what looked like cute pillows but actually turned out to be animal hand muff warmers! SJ was like:

So we walked on. On the way back, I decided to try out my powers of aegyo, and guess what, they worked! Five minutes later, I was walking away with a super cute-ass bunny hand warmer~ ^^

Tokki and Nemo!

It is so warm and fluffy!

SJ was not pleased that I was using his bed as a photo studio! ^^:;

I couldn't find any information at all about this product online, other than this so if you know anything about these, then let me know! Alternatively, if you're in Liverpool and happen to have £7 handy, then why not get one for yourself? :D

All my love,

Yishi xxx

Friday, 16 December 2011


Introducing...*dundundun*...Charger, or Chargy the cat!

He used to be a stray but got taken in by SJ's landlord, so now lives here! He's quite independent and generally doesn't show you any affection unless he's hungry or wants to be let out of the house, in which case he'll purr like crazy, rub up against you, and give you the stare. You know what I'm talking about:

Anyway, today I decided not to go home and to stay for a little while longer to rebuild a few bridges with SJ. I ended up tidying up the kitchen since it was bugging me lots, and came across the cat looking a bit peeved at the amount of washing up in the sink:

Yes, there is most definitely snow in the background - our first winter snow, in fact! He tried to get to the ground, but didn't like that the sink was wet, so after tentatively testing out a route, he kind of slid to the ground hehe.

Isn't he so adorable?

Hope these photos cheer you up like they did with me! :)

Yishi xxx

Wednesday, 14 December 2011

Is natural beauty dead?

Yishi here, blogging from the bed since I have a minor case of the "atchooo" today! :'(

About half an hour ago, SJ sent me this link from work which reminded me of our conversation from last night, and also of all the rants that my Asian girlfriends and I had last year.

Take note: what you are about to witness is the amazing power of make-up!

Click on the images above for moar! Or alternatively, google "asians with and without makeup" like I did last night.

And even if images lie *cough* Photoshop *cough*, animated GIFs certainly don't!

Since I am absolutely petrified of shoving anything in my eye, be it contact lens or non-painted fingernail, then this is a look that I do not think I will ever be able to achieve. And since I am not a fan of glasses either, blindness ftw!! (Only joking, my eyes are only +0.75 and +1.25.) But what happened to the au naturelle look? Why are celebrities and girls from all nations sooo obsessed with make-up?

That, I cannot tell you, but I suspect that it has something to do with boys, sex, competition, sex, insecurities, sex and The Media. I guess I'm a relative n00b to the scene since it isn't something that I cared too much about until recently. As I was growing up, it didn't really affect me because I wasn't able to identify with the celebrities that I was exposed to. Why? I couldn't compare myself to them, since the majority are white. Plus, all I cared about at the time was *dundundun* POKEMON!!! And then Digimon. Oh, how I miss those happy happy days. Anyway, whilst my friends in school were spending hours in the bathroom putting on their make-up, I was always the one whinging about how long they were taking. It just looked so repetitively painful and pointless when we all knew that you had to take it off later on! And the idea of caking your face in layers and layers of stuff kinda freaked me out. At home, my mother didn't use make-up, and she brought me up to believe in my natural self and to believe that appearances didn't matter (well...didn't matter too much lol), so I didn't really understand why my peers felt the need to go through this daily routine of torture...until I turned sixteen and discovered the power of eye-liner.

I started to notice guys, became more self-aware, and found that eye-liner made my eyes stand out so much. And that's how I developed the Asian glare, hehe. I didn't use any other make-up, as my skin was (and still is) sensitive so I didn't want to get a reaction from applying anything to it. Plus I didn't think I needed to use any other products. Don't get me wrong, I'm not a natural stunner, but I have two working eyes, a functional nose, a mouth in the right place, and non-spotty skin. Oh, and natural double eyelids, bwahahaha! (Although I did not realise what a valuable commodity this was at the time.) So in essence, I was perfectly happy with the way that I am.

That whole outlook changed once I started university and became exposed to Asians and Asian media. Everything was just so damn long-legged or kawaii! >_< ...I realised that once I was able to compare myself to other people who were of similar basic appearance to me, then I found myself becoming more and more insecure, especially when all of these girls seemed so beautiful and had so many guys chasing after them. I was completely thrown out of my comfort zone, and had no idea on how to deal with it all. I wanted to be prettier but due to core beliefs of staying as true to oneself as possible, I wasn't prepared to invest in the effort needed to achieve this 'beauty'. So I drowned. I asked myself why my guy crush at the time did not like me. I cried. My grades slipped, and because I was no longer top of my class, I cried more. I couldn't even be pretty, let alone smart. This deadlock sent me into a spiral of low self-esteem for a very long time, but eventually, I was able to reach some sort of compromise with myself and finally came to terms with the way I am. It took a great amount of willpower to get to this level of acceptance, and even though I'm still somewhat insecure, the personal compromise has more or less remained with me to this very day (give or take a few off days!).

After all, at the end of the day, a pretty girl can only hold a guy's attention for so long before he gets bored and moves onto the next pretty thing. It takes substance, personality to really connect. And how can you have substance if you don't believe in yourself? :)

Today, I still only wear eye-liner on most days, and am comfortable enough to go without if I'm feeling super lazy. If I have a special occasion like a ball or something formal, then I try a bit of lip-gloss, eyeshadow and have recently started experimenting with ze false eyelash to go with ze princess dresses~♥

So, now that all of that back-story is out of the way ~ onto the question of my blog post: is natural beauty dead?

No, never, as long as you believe it still exists. Natural beauty comes from within, from being happy with who you are, and from loving everything about being alive! It's a state of mind, a spark inside of you that needs to be nurtured and allowed to grow into something wonderful and vibrant that'll turn heads and make people think 'wow' when they see you.

If anyone is reading this who has also gone through dark times, then I hope that you can leave this page knowing that you are not alone. :)

Final words ~ some of this has been pretty hard for me to write, so I want to say a big thank you to everyone who told and still tells me that I am beautiful,

Yishi xxx

Tuesday, 13 December 2011

UP Girls

OK, I'm not gonna lie, I've never made an effort to keep up to date with what's going on across the ocean but today I came across something that piqued my interest after googling "asians with and without make-up" just for kicks -_-:; (cuz you know, I'm self-deprecating like that...more on make-up in another blog post). Presenting...*dundundun*...

The UP Girls!

A new (now I say new but in actual fact, it turns out they made their debut in 2010) C-pop all girl band from Starlight Up with the following traits: choreographed dance moves *shock horror*, the cute yet sexy dichotomy and a hellova looooot of leg. So it seems that even C-pop has now caught the Korean bug!

Is it a bird? Is it a plane? No, it must be Photoshop because holy freaking hell, those legs are longer than their torsos plus heads!

Below are videos of their first two singles so you can judge the aegyo for yourself:

You can definitely see the Korean influences here! The more I listen to them though, the more the songs grow on me (although the bits that annoyed me at the start will forever annoy me -_-:;), since actually being able to understand some of the lyrics does make a huge difference. I wonder how successful they'll be, since I guess they'll always be compared to SNSD. Then again, China doesn't really have anything like this so, who knows?

Chopsticks over and out! ^_^

Yishi xxx

Monday, 12 December 2011

A Millionaire's First Love

Gah, this movie made me cry sooo much! At first, I was like, "this is gonna be so badass" during the opening credits, but after Jae-Kyung transferred to the countryside it was so beautiful and sad. I watched it this evening with SJ, but he didn't cry at all, citing a heart made of stone. Whatever.

...such a touching scene!


I really liked how everyone in the village welcomed Jae-Kyung despite him constantly antagonising and pushing them away, and the parts where Jae-Kyung gives Eun-Hwan the bottle of capsules and the fluff-tastic white socks *squeeee*!!

Since I had to read the subtitles, there were a few occasions in which SJ was like, "the translation's WROOONG!! He's talking about his penis!" so I guess there are other benefits to having a native beside you, besides acting as a giant pillow to cry on.

And need I forget how super cute Hyun Bin is?! ^_^

Wishing you all sweet dreams,

Yishi xxx

Sunday, 11 December 2011

My croquette [고로케] nightmare!

Or, the story of a first time cooking experience gone wrong.

This evening, SJ and I were debating on what we should do for dinner - our dilemma of the day! Our options: brave the gale force maelstrom for a restaurant in the city, or stay in and cook. Guess which one we chose?

Since we had some leftover ham and potato soup from our mis-adventures on Friday night, SJ decided to use up all of our resources and make 고로케...goroke...or croquettes for those of us (a.k.a. me ^^:;) that are not fluent in Korean. I always thought croquettes came from France, but apparently they are Roman in origin!

Yeah, ours looked nothing like this...

So what did we do to deserve that caption? Note that I do not endorse what we did in any way, shape or form. Just so you know.

We boiled some potatoes and then mashed them. If you do dare to try to replicate this, then don't add any milk like we did... >_<

Next, we chopped a stick of celery, an onion, and some mushrooms into fine pieces and fried them until soft before adding everything to the mash. Afterwards, we chopped up some ham into small pieces and added that in too, along with some grated cheese.

We mixed up all of the above with our leftover soup, but I'm sure you can omit this and still have a nice croquette. In fact, if you omit this, it'll probably turn out better than ours did!

The next bit was where we (I say we, but it was actually SJ) went wrong: we tried to make the mixture into little patties and cover them in flour, then egg, then breadcrumbs, then fry. But our mixture was a bit too runny, so we had a lot of trouble with that step until I took over and saved the day! :D

So they turned out to be more like potato cakes...but whatever. By the time we ate at 11pm we could not have cared less! ^_^

Bon nuit, dear chopsticks!

Yishi xxx